Longview's BEST Hotel Deal? America's Best Value Inn SHOCKINGLY Low Prices!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the… well, let's call it the "experience" that is Longview’s BEST Hotel Deal? America's Best Value Inn SHOCKINGLY Low Prices! Truth be told, "shockingly low" probably undersells it. Prepare yourself, because this review is gonna be longer than the drive to your grandma's… and probably just as eventful. Consider it your personal travel diary.
First things first: Accessibility. Now, I’m not a mobility expert, but I did nose around, and the website says they have facilities for disabled guests. Elevator's listed, which is a HUGE win for anyone needing it. HOWEVER… and this is where the messy, human experience comes in… verify, verify, verify before you book, particularly about the rooms. Call, email, badger them. Don't just take my word for it. Always check the details. Accessibility, in my experience, is a moving target.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Pandemic Era Edition
Okay, let's be real. Post-2020, "clean" means something different. Here’s what I could glean (through a website riddled with mostly accurate information):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, professionally-grade sanitizing services, and rooms sanitized between stays – sounds promising, right? My inner germaphobe is breathing a sigh of relief.
- They've got hand sanitizer everywhere. God bless 'em.
- Daily disinfection in common areas – good.
- Room sanitization opt-out available – Interesting. In a world trying to always be clean a room opt-out is a strong move.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing – Check.
- Individually-wrapped food options. A bit of a mixed bag, but safer.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. Okay, that's the rule (and the right one).
- Safe dining setup. Crucial.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Essential.
- Staff trained in safety protocol. Praise be!
- CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property: Another sigh of relief. Safety is paramount.
- First aid kit: Good to know it's there…hopefully, i'll never need it.
- *Smoke alarms, *Fire extinguishers*, and *Smoke detectors* – Safety first, safety second, safety third.
- Hygiene certification – Fingers crossed on this one.
Rooms - What You Actually Get
(Okay, here's where I get REAL.)
The website promises:
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone (seriously?), Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker: Standard fare.
- Complimentary tea: Nice touch.
- Daily housekeeping: Essential.
- Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace: Solid for the price point.
- Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies: Standard and expected.
- Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale (WHAT?!), Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Okay.
- Additional toilet, Interconnecting room(s) available, Room decorations: A mixed bag of maybe
(My anecdotal moment):
I'd seen the pictures online. Honestly, they looked… decent. Then I opened the door. Let's just say the "room decorations" weren't exactly the Parthenon. More like "fleeting attempt at color coordination." The bedspread? Questionable. The carpeting? Let's just say it had stories. That being said, the bed was comfortable enough. And hey, the TV did have cable, so I could binge-watch whatever I wanted. That part was great!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – The Fuel-Up Options
- Okay, the restaurants are listed, plural. But the website doesn’t list any, which is not a good omen.
- Bar: Possibly non-existent.
- Coffee shop: Also potentially non-existent.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant: A HUGE question mark.
- A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast: Highly unlikely.
- Room service [24-hour]: Dreaming on a bed of roses.
- Snack bar: Maybe a vending machine of dubious quality.
- Poolside bar: I'm picturing a vending machine.
- Pool with view: I am picturing a large window with a view of the parking lot….
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (Don't hold your breath)
- Forget the body scrub, body wrap, spa, spa/sauna, and steamroom.
- Fitness center, gym/fitness: Maybe a treadmill from the 80s.
- Massage: Doubt it.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Possible, but I’m picturing a kidney-shaped concrete box.
- Sauna, Pool with view: See above.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Life-Savers
- Air conditioning in public area: Pray for it. Seriously.
- Business facilities: See below.
- Cash withdrawal: Probably across the street.
- Concierge: Don't hold your breath.
- Convenience store: Hopefully a small, overpriced selection of snacks.
- Currency exchange: Highly unlikely.
- Daily housekeeping: If you get the room cleaned.
- Doorman: Nope.
- Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service: Probably not.
- Facilities for disabled guests: See Accessibility above.
- Food delivery: Might be available!
- Gift/souvenir shop: Ha!
- Invoice provided: Fingers crossed.
- Luggage storage, Parking: The holy grail of conveniences.
For the Kids – Think Twice
- Babysitting service: Absolutely not.
- Family/child friendly: Not explicitly stated on the website.
- Kids meal: Highly unlikely.
- Kids facilities: Probably not included.
Getting Around (aka Getting Out of This Place)
- Airport transfer: Maybe a very persistent taxi driver.
- Bicycle parking: Again, hopefully.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: A major plus.
- Taxi service: Definitely available.
- Car power charging station, Valet parking: Zero chance.
My Overall Take – The Honest Truth (as of today)
This place is a budget option. Don't expect the Ritz Carlton. But if you're looking for a crash pad, somewhere cheap to lay your head while you explore Longview, it might work. Just temper your expectations. Really, temper them.
The SHOCKINGLY Low Prices – The Hook
The website name has it correct. The prices are genuinely low. And in the current economic climate, I'm going to assume that it is the only selling point.
The "Compelling Offer" - My Attempt
Tired of Overpaying? Longview's America's Best Value Inn Offers SHOCKINGLY Low Prices!
- Clean and Safe: We are committed to your safety! We are sanitizing and more.
- Basic Comforts: You'll have room to rest comfortably.
- Free Parking: Park your car and explore the area.
- Book now for a truly affordable getaway!
In Conclusion (and before I go for a nap)
Would I recommend this place to a friend? Maybe. Would I recommend it to my enemy? Probably not. It depends on your priorities. If you're prioritizing price, convenience, and basic needs, this might be your jam. If you're looking for luxury, look elsewhere. But for a quick trip or a budget adventure… it's a gamble worth considering. Just… bring your own Lysol. And snacks. And a healthy sense of humor. Good luck.
Kota Kinabalu's BEST Kept Secret: Hush Inn's Unbelievable Luxury!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because here's my attempt at a travel itinerary for a trip to the legendary (okay, maybe not legendary) Americas Best Value Inn in Longview, Texas. Honestly, I'm already a bit dubious, just because "Best Value" always screams "questionable carpet situation." But hey, adventure awaits (or maybe just a slightly stained coffee pot).
Day 1: Arrival and the Search for Something Resembling Civilization (and Wi-Fi That Works)
- 1:00 PM (ish): Arrive at Longview, TX. Sigh dramatically because the journey felt longer than it should have been. Probably blame the questionable gas station coffee and the screaming toddler on the flight.
- 1:30 PM - 2:00 PM: Check into the ABVI. Pray to the travel gods that the bedspread isn't adorned with questionable stains. Quick inspection of the bathroom. Key focus: water pressure and presence of spiders. (Okay, maybe spiders aren't a huge deal, but I'm not thrilled about the idea of sharing a room).
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Attempt to connect to the hotel Wi-Fi. Prepare for battle. This is usually a test of patience. Expect frustration, angry clicking, and maybe a full-blown internal monologue about the inherent injustice of slow internet. Let the games begin.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Explore. This is where things get real. I'd probably wander around, desperately looking for something to eat that isn't gas station jerky or a sad-looking microwave meal. Hopefully, Longview has a decent diner or at least a place with passable tacos (Texas, right?). Anecdote! Once, I ended up eating a REALLY bad burger at a "family restaurant" in a small town, and I swear it haunted me for weeks. Seriously, it was practically cardboard. This is where I start to ramble because I'm thinking about that burger. It was terrible!
- 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner and a deep dive into the local scene. Find somewhere to eat. Chat with the locals. Try to avoid talking about politics…or anything too serious for that matter. I'm aiming for lighthearted conversation, even if it's about the weather.
- 7:00 PM - Bedtime (which, let's be honest, will probably be early because who knows what the ABVI noise situation is like): Settle into the room. Attempt to watch TV. Pray the remote works. Write a diary entry. Maybe. If I'm feeling particularly philosophical, I'll contemplate the meaning of life and the existential dread of chain motels. (Okay, maybe just the dread).
Day 2: Embracing the Charm… Or the Lack Thereof
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Hopefully, there's something complimentary. If not, prepare for a frantic search for a decent coffee shop. A bad coffee experience can ruin the whole day, you know.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: I've heard (or maybe I dreamed it) there's some kind of state park nearby? Depending on my mood. I consider hiking. Mildly. I mean, I WOULD like to see something besides the parking lot of the ABVI. Maybe I’ll just stay in the room and write.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch. Repeat search for affordable meal.
- 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Decision time! Do I double down on the park adventure (if I went) or just…drive around? Maybe I'll get a haircut. No, wait, that sounds like more effort than I'm willing to expend. Maybe visit a local history museum (as long as it's not too historical).
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Some free time, I don't how to kill it or what to do right now.
- 5:00 PM: - 7:00 PM: Dinner again (see day 1). Maybe I will get the courage to try again to find a good restaurant, or this time, I'll try something new!
- 7:00 PM - Bedtime: Pack (ish). Contemplate if I want to stay another day or go back home. Maybe, if the carpet hasn't given me allergies, and the Wi-Fi holds up, I'll embrace the small-town charm. Or at least try not to complain too much.
Day 3: The Great Escape (and a Review)
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Final breakfast. Cross fingers for edible sustenance.
- 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Check out of the ABVI. Leave with a mix of relief and a strange sense of… emptiness? Okay, maybe not emptiness. Mostly relief. But also some respect.
- 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM: Post on social media about my trip. Give it a rating, or not, if I didn't like it.
- 11:00 AM - Departure: Head home.
Observations, Imperfections, and Utterly Honest Reactions:
- I'm already getting anxiety about the potential of a noisy air conditioner.
- I will probably wear the same outfit for two days. Don't judge.
- I'm a terrible planner. This is a vague outline because I'm much more of a "go with the flow" kind of person (read: indecisive).
- I'm secretly hoping for a story to tell, even if it's just about the questionable breakfast buffet.
- Okay, I'm already dreading the drive. And hoping I don't get lost. And desperately hoping for a good cup of coffee.
- This itinerary is not perfect. It is a reflection of a messy human. Hopefully, it's good enough.
There you have it! May the odds be ever in your favor, and may your trip to the Americas Best Value Inn be… unforgettable. You know, in a good way. Or at least, in a way you can laugh about later. (Probably the latter). And now, I need a nap.
Escape to Paradise: Eljie Hotel Gorontalo Awaits!
America's Best Value Inn, Longview - The Truth (and Maybe Some Lies) About Those Prices!
(Because, let's be honest, those prices are kinda sus... But also, like, *tempting*.)
Okay, BUT REALLY. Are those prices... *real*? Like, does a room REALLY start at [Insert ridiculously low price here]?
Alright, alright, let’s tackle the elephant in the *probably-not-very-clean* room. Yes. They *say* those prices are real. And, I’ve seen them. On a Tuesday. In the dead of February. After a particularly bad local baseball game. So, *technically* yes. But lemme tell you a story... I tried to snag a room. My car – bless its heart – decided to blow a tire on I-20, right outside Longview. Panic set in. I needed a bed. And quick. That price? It was like a beacon in the fog of my tire-related misery. Dialed, breath hitched, fully expecting a bait-and-switch. “Yep! That rate! For our… *economy* rooms, sir.” Economy. Let that sink in. Think… *extremely* basic. But hey! It was a bed! And a roof! And relatively speaking, it *wasn't* the side of the highway!
What’s the *catch*? There’s ALWAYS a catch, right?
Oh, honey, there's more than one catch. Let me tell you, there's a whole damn net! Okay, first, let’s talk about the *location*. It's… Longview. Not exactly Paris. Or Vegas. Or, you know, anywhere especially glamorous. Then, there’s the… shall we say… *ambiance*. Remember that "economy" room? Think less "modern chic" and more "slightly used everything". The coffee maker might or might not work—and it came with a complimentary, *questionable* brown substance that I was unable to identify, definitely not from the *coffee* it was supposed to make, let me tell you! And don't even get me started on the potential for late-night hallway shenanigans... (I didn't witness any, obviously, but like, I *sensed* them.)
Are the rooms… clean? Because, you know, that’s kinda essential.
See, this is where it gets… *complicated*. I mean, they *try*. Look, it wasn't the kind of grimy that makes you scream and run. But it wasn't the Ritz-Carlton either. Let's just say a wipe down might have been in order. The sheets *looked* clean. Emphasis on *looked*. I brought my own bleach wipes, just to be safe. And my own pillow case. You know, just in case. I’m not saying it was sterile. I'm just saying I'm *still* alive. And not *actively* itchy. Okay? Moving on.
What about the staff? Are they friendly? Or are they… *grim*?
Okay, here's the thing about the staff. They were… *there*. They weren't particularly bubbly or overly solicitous, but they weren't trying to steal my wallet either. They did their job. Checked me in. Gave me a key. Answered the phone when I called about the… *ahem*… questionable brown stuff in the coffee maker (which they quickly replaced, bless their hearts). One guy was named Kevin, and he seemed… tired. I get it, Kevin. I felt tired too. The best part? He didn't ask me a single perky, overly-friendly question. Absolute gold, Kevin. Absolute gold.
Is there a pool? My kids would be *devastated* if there’s no pool.
Ah, the pool. The siren song of watered-down chlorine dreams. Listen. There *might* have been a pool. *Might*. I’m not sure. I think I saw a vaguely rectangular shape in the distance, covered in… something. Probably not swim-ready. Okay, *definitely* not swim-ready. Your kids? Prepare them for disappointment. Pack a bucket and some sidewalk chalk. Trust me, you will thank me.
Breakfast? Free breakfast? Is it... edible??
Oh, the breakfast. Prepare yourself. Remember that episode of your favorite childhood cartoon where they were stranded on a desert island and were *forced* to eat something truly, truly awful? It’s… kind of like that. There *was* a breakfast. Toast. Cereal. Coffee. The kind of coffee that makes you question all your life choices. It wasn’t the worst breakfast I’ve ever had, though. But I did skip it the second day. Went to a *real* diner instead, and devoured the eggs and bacon like I'd never seen food before. Best decision ever.
So, should I stay there? Seriously, HELP ME DECIDE!
Okay, listen. Here's the bottom line: If you're on a *super* tight budget, and you absolutely, positively, *have* to get a room, and you can handle a certain level of… *rusticness*… then, yeah, go for it. It'll get the job done. But if you're expecting luxury? Forget it. If you are a germaphobe? Run. Run far, far away. If you want a relaxing, spa-like experience, or a pool, no, no, no. Otherwise? Bring your own sanitizer, your own pillowcase, and your own sense of humor. And maybe, just *maybe*, you’ll survive. I did. And for that price? Worth it. Mostly. Probably. Okay, maybe not. But… you get the idea. It's an experience! And you'll have a story to tell. That’s something, right? Right?!?
