OMG! This Oniru VI, Lagos Apartment Will Leave You SPEECHLESS!
OMG! This Oniru VI, Lagos Apartment Will Leave You SPEECHLESS! (…or at least, VERY impressed!) - A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up Buttercups, because I just spent a week at the apartment complex they call "OMG! This Oniru VI, Lagos Apartment Will Leave You SPEECHLESS!" And you know what? They kinda weren't lying. But, let me break it down for you, because "speechless" is a broad term that could mean a lot of things, and I, my friends, aim for clarity.
First, let me just say, damn. Lagos. The energy is insane. And this place? It's trying to keep up. Let's get into it:
Accessibility: The Good, the Not-So-Good, and the "Could Be Better"
Alright, so, Accessibility is crucial, right? Especially in a city like Lagos. On a scale of "completely inaccessible nightmare" to "everything’s a smooth glide," this place leans towards the middle. They do have an elevator, which is a HUGE win in a city where elevators are sometimes more mythical than real. Facilities for disabled guests are… advertised. I didn’t specifically test this myself, so I can't give a definitive review of their accessibility program. There's car park [on-site] and car park [free of charge], HUGE considering Lagos traffic. Getting around is easier when you don't have to park a mile away. They offer airport transfer and taxi service, which is a godsend in a city with a reputation for chaos. However, the streets of Lagos themselves? Well, that's another story entirely.
Internet: The Lifeline and the Occasional Spitting Cobra
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yessss! And for the most part, it delivered. I mean, let’s be real, in Lagos, reliable internet is a luxury. I was able to conduct business calls using Internet access – great! The Internet [LAN] option gives you a backup, which is awesome. So, overall, pretty solid on the connectivity front, though there were a couple of moments where my video calls resembled a pixelated Jackson Pollock painting. But hey, that's Lagos for you - always keeping you on your toes! Wi-Fi in public areas was also available, but I mostly preferred the comfort of my room.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Day Dreams and Gym Nightmares
Okay, this is where things get interesting. The Spa options are supposed to be amazing. They have a Sauna, Steamroom, Spa/sauna, a Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, the whole shebang. I, however, was more focused on conquering the city. So, my personal experience with the spa was nonexistent. My friend went and said she was disappointed. All of her "spa" treatments were performed on chairs instead of massage tables.
There's a Fitness center, which I peeked into. Uhm, let’s just say it's seen better days. It was more like a dimly lit dungeon of old equipment and broken treadmills. Honestly, it was less "fitness center" and more "reminder of your own mortality." If you're looking to pump iron, maybe find a different gym in the area. Shudders. They have a Swimming pool [outdoor] and Pool with view, which looked inviting, though I didn't have time to actually dip in.
Cleanliness and Safety: Anti-Viral Vibes & Cautious Optimism
Listen, cleanliness is EVERYTHING, especially with, you know, gestures vaguely at the world. I was pleasantly surprised. They're clearly trying hard. They use Anti-viral cleaning products, offer Hand sanitizer readily, and have Daily disinfection in common areas. My room was clean; I could tell they thoroughly cleaned it. A welcome feature. Room sanitization opt-out available and Rooms sanitized between stays give an extra layer of comfort for those who want it. They're also certified for Hygiene certification, which boosts the perceived level of trust.
The CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property give an extra layer of security that will give you peace of mind. Safety/security feature and Security [24-hour].
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: From Buffet to Bites (with varying levels of success)
Okay, the food. A crucial element of any stay, right? They have several options. There's a Breakfast [buffet], and a **Breakfast service, ** Western breakfast, and Asian breakfast. There are Restaurants, a Coffee shop, and a **Poolside bar, ** Snack bar and there is a 24-hour Room service. My breakfast experience was… a mixed bag. The buffet was decent, but the Coffee/tea in the restaurant was surprisingly good. The Bottle of water in the room was appreciated, the Happy hour at the bar was welcome. Some mornings, I opted for the Breakfast takeaway service to save time.
Anecdote Time: The Soup and the Steak
One night, I ordered room service. I was craving some soup and steak. The soup? Surprisingly delicious! Comforting, flavorful, it was exactly what I needed after a long day. The steak? Let's just say, it had a distinct texture. I'll leave it at that. It was a gamble!
Services and Conveniences: From Ironing to Invoice (with a smile? Probably)
They've got a ton of services: Air conditioning in public area, Concierge, Cash withdrawal, Cashless payment service, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, and a Convenience store. I used most of these. The concierge was genuinely helpful, which is a huge plus. Laundry was quick and easy. I actually forgot to get clothes, so that was a life-saver, and the Daily housekeeping kept my room tidy.
For the Kids (and the Kids at Heart)
They have Babysitting service and are Family/child friendly with Kids facilities and a Kids meal. I don't have kids, so I can't speak to personally; but if you're traveling with little ones, it seems like they're set up to accommodate.
The Rooms: Sanctuary or… Something Else?
Now to the heart of the matter: the actual apartments. They are Non-smoking rooms, which is a plus. They offer Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Bathroom phone, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and a Window that opens.
The rooms, they're the reason you come here. They vary in layout, but mine was on the higher floors. It was tastefully decorated, clean, and generally comfortable. The bed was fantastic, and the blackout curtains were a DREAM if you want to adjust to the time. The soundproofing wasn't perfect and, at times, Lagos traffic felt like it was in my room, so my recommendation would be to get a room on a higher floor.
The Verdict: Worth It? Well…
Would I recommend "OMG! This Oniru VI, Lagos Apartment Will Leave You SPEECHLESS!"? Look, it's not perfect. The gym is a joke, and the room service can be hit-or-miss. But the apartments are comfortable and well-appointed. The location is convenient. The staff is generally helpful. And the sheer energy of Lagos is enough to keep you entertained.
But here's the kicker: For my fellow digital nomads, remote workers, and the adventurous traveler who appreciates a touch of comfort, convenience, AND security, this place is golden.
The Offer: Your Lagos Adventure Awaits!
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Book your stay now and receive:
- Exclusive Offer: 15% discount for stays of 7 nights or more! (Use code: LAGOSADVENTURE)
- Bonus: Enjoy a complimentary welcome cocktail at our poolside bar upon arrival!
- **Peace
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're talking a Lagos adventure so raw, so real, so utterly me, that even I'm a little scared. Forget perfectly polished itineraries. This is the chaotic, glorious truth. Here we go:
Subject: My Lagos Leap: Two Bedroom Apartment in Oniru, Where the Realness Begins (and Finishes?)
Day 1: Arrival, Jetlagged Glamour (and the Struggle is Real)
- 10:00 AM (ish): Touchdown at Murtala Muhammed. Ugh, Lagos humidity hits you like a warm, sweaty hug. Security? Let's just say it’s an experience. Managed to navigate the chaos mostly unscathed (miracle!). Grabbed my bags… and immediately forgot where I parked the airport shuttle. Classic.
- 11:30 AM: Airport shuffle and uber chaos to Oniru. The traffic… the traffic! It’s a symphony of honking, exhaust fumes, and near-death experiences. My driver, bless his heart, was also attempting to manage his phone while weaving through the madness. He told me that Lagos is a war zone and I was advised to stay safe
- 1:00 PM: Finally arrive at my swanky two-bedroom pad. Sigh. The building? Stunning. The apartment interior? Gorgeous. Air conditioning? Praise be! Immediately collapse on a ridiculously comfy sofa and let the jetlag wash over me. This is the life, right?
- 3:00 PM: Attempt to unpack. Find a rogue, half-eaten Twix bar at the bottom of my bag. (Don't judge. Travel snacks are life.) Wonder if Nigerian street food really makes people sick, then remember the airport situation and decide to postpone my culinary explorations for another day.
- 4:00 PM: Nap. Deep, glorious, soul-reviving nap.
- 6:00 PM: Wake up disoriented and craving something, anything, that isn't airplane food. Order a local Nigerian dish through a delivery app. Fumbling with the payment interface and accidentally ordering three servings. Oops.
- 7:30 PM: Food arrives. It is… interesting. A mix of deliciousness and a mystery spice I can't identify. Eat enthusiastically. Feel slightly suspicious. Wash it down with an entire bottle of water.
- 8:30 PM: Attempt to watch TV. Channels? Limited. Reception? Mostly static. Give up and scroll through Instagram instead. Suddenly start following a local artist. He's got a vibe.
- 10:00 PM: Bedtime. Collapse. Wonder if I’ll survive until tomorrow.
Day 2: The Beach, the Hustle, and the Street Food Scramble
- 9:00 AM: Wake up feeling marginally less jetlagged, and hungry. Discover the delivery app failed to include any cutlery.
- 10:30 AM: Head to Elegushi Beach! The sun, the sand, the waves… chef's kiss. But the vendors? Relentless. "Madam, you want braid? Madam, you want massage?" It's a beautiful chaos. Ended up buying a brightly coloured beach wrap I don't need. Because…vacation. And because pressure.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch: Chicken, grilled corn and some cold Fanta. The corn was perfect. The chicken was charred so black I’m surprised I wasn’t sick. shrugs
- 2:00 PM: Wander around Oniru. Observe the endless stream of people. The energy of Lagos is electric. It’s exhausting, exhilarating, and utterly captivating. Start to feel like I can actually handle this. Then a man stops me to offer a ride in a car with all the windows tinted dark as a coffin.
- 3:00 PM: Decide to venture out of my comfort zone.
- 4:00 PM: Decide my life is not worth taking any risks
- 5:00 PM: Find a local store to buy toiletries and snacks. The shopkeeper is chatty and friendly. Practice my pidgin (badly). Buy way too much stuff. Feel strangely happy.
- 7:00 PM: Decide to finally try the street food. Locate a bustling roadside stall. The smells…the crowds…the anticipation! Order… something. Okay, it's a deep-fried, unidentified meat pastry. Take a bite. Suddenly, it's a full-blown festival of flavors and textures. This is what I was looking for. THIS is Lagos.
- 8:00 PM: Find a bar. Have a beer. Talk to the bartender who is not impressed by my pidgin.
- 9:00 PM: Ride back to my apartment on a bike.
- 10:00 PM: Collapse into bed, stomach full of street food, heart full of Lagos.
Day 3: … (To be determined. My energy levels/sanity may vary.)
- Future Plans:
- Maybe a boat tour? (If I’m brave enough.)
- Definitely more street food (because, addiction).
- A visit to a market. (Lord, help me.)
- Probably more napping.
Expectations vs. Reality:
- Expectation: Glamorous Instagram-worthy adventures.
- Reality: Sweaty, slightly bewildered, but utterly alive exploration. (With the occasional breakdown.)
Overall Feeling:
- Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Grateful. Intrigued. Completely, utterly, and irrevocably hooked. Lagos, you magnificent, messy, beautiful beast, I'm yours. (Or at least, I'm here with you, for a few glorious days).
OMG! This Oniru VI, Lagos Apartment Will Leave You SPEECHLESS! (Or Maybe Just Slightly Uncomfortable?) - FAQs
So, uh, what's the deal with this place? Is it actually... good?
Okay, alright, let's be real. "Speechless" is a *strong* opening line, yeah? I went in expecting… well, a place to crash for a couple of days. I'd seen the pictures. Gleaming, minimalist, all that. I got there, and... woah. Speechless might not be the *right* word. Maybe more like… "Whoa, okay." The lobby had this weird scent. Like a very expensive air freshener trying *way* too hard to cover up… something. I'm not sure what.
The pictures… do they lie, like, *a lot*?
Look, let's just say the photographer deserves a raise. A HUGE raise. Because, while the photos were beautiful, they conveniently omitted all the… *character*. The 'gleaming' surfaces? Smudgy in real life. The minimalist design? Felt a bit… sterile, like a hospital waiting room. And the 'panoramic views'? One was mostly of the building across the street. The *building*. My first thought? "Well, this is awkward." My second? "Did I just pay how much for this?"
Seriously, what's the WORST thing about it? Spill the tea!
Okay, okay, here it comes. The WORST thing… was the shower. And I mean the shower experience, not just the shower itself. It was a *battle*. The water pressure was… whimsical. One minute it was a gentle drizzle, the next it was a jet stream capable of peeling paint – and nearly dislocating my shoulder. I swear, I felt like I was wrestling a rogue garden hose! It took me a solid ten minutes to regulate the temperature and *survive* the ordeal. And then... the water just stopped. Completely. No water. For ten minutes. I stood there, half-soaped, freezing and cursing the very air I was breathing. And then it came back on... at full force. I just… I just laughed. What else could I do? Honestly, I’m still traumatized. I'm seriously considering filing for emotional distress!
But was *anything* good? Anything at all?!
Okay, okay. Before you think I'm totally trashing it… The bed was comfortable. REALLY comfortable. I could genuinely sink into those sheets and forget about nearly drowning in the shower the day before. And… the security guard was super friendly. Like, genuinely nice. Always greeted me with a smile. Small mercies, right? And the location is convenient to, like, *most* of the things you'd want to do in Oniru VI. So, yes, there were some positives. But those negatives? They were *memorable*. I won't be forgetting that shower anytime soon.
How's the WiFi? Because, priorities.
The WiFi was… okay. Dependable enough, I guess. It wasn't the blazing fast, warp-speed internet of my dreams, but it was adequate for checking emails and scrolling through Instagram. Did I manage to stream a movie? Yes. Did it buffer a few times? Also yes. So, you know, standard internet in Nigeria, I guess. Nothing truly spectacular; nothing truly awful. It just *was*.
What about the kitchen? Could you, like, *live* there?
Okay, the kitchen. This is where things got… interesting. It looked pristine, all shiny surfaces and gleaming appliances. But, um, there were no actual cooking utensils. No pots. No pans. Just… a microwave and a fridge. (And the fridge? Didn't seem to be working very well). So, yes, you could theoretically *live* there if you subsisted entirely on microwave meals and cold snacks. Which, let’s be honest, sounds like a sad, lonely existence to me. I ended up ordering in most of the time. Sigh. I miss home cooked soup.
Would you recommend it? Be honest!
Honestly? It's complicated. If you're looking for a comfortable, convenient base of operations and are willing to overlook a few… eccentricities, then maybe. If you need a perfect experience, a spa-like oasis of tranquility, or a functional kitchen, definitely not. I think more "Maybe with Caveats" is a better description. I’d give it a… 6/10? Mostly for the bed. And the security guard. And the proximity to… well, convenience. The shower experience alone knocks off a solid two points. Consider yourself warned. You might *survive*. You might even *enjoy* certain aspects. But you will, without a doubt, have stories to tell. And isn't that what a trip is all about, really? (Says the person still traumatized from the shower!)
Any weird quirks or oddities? Did you see anything bizarre?
Oh, this is the best part! Okay, so… the remote control. The TV remote. It *worked*. Most of the time. But sometimes, and this is where it gets good, it would randomly switch channels. Like, in the middle of a show. No rhyme or reason. I swear, I thought it was haunted! One minute I'm enjoying a documentary, the next I'm watching a Bollywood music video with no warning. I tried replacing the batteries. I tried… I tried praying to the remote gods! Nothing worked. The television was possessed. It was… entertaining, to be honest. And slightly infuriating. But definitely memorable. I still don't know what was up with that remote. I'll probably have nightmares about it for weeks.
Okay, you've spent a lot of time complaining about the shower. Anything else that was just… off?
Okay, fine, there was ALSO this weird… *thing* in the hallway. It was a sculpture, I think? Or maybe it was just art. It was abstract and… unsettling. All sharp angles and mismatched colours. I stared at it for, like, five minutes the first day, trying to decide if it was supposed to be a bird, a robot, or just a very confused pile of metal. I still have no idea. It just sat there in the hallway, judging me. Silently. And I think it might have been slightly crooked. Which,Stay While You Wander
